“But women abuse men!”
I don’t care.
I literally don’t even care.
This is a constant whataboutism that distracts us from what needs to be our focus for now and the foreseeable future.
Intimate partner violence against women is still a much bigger uphill battle that should take priority.
I will provide more information and data that reflects the severity and gender disparities in intimate partner violence/domestic violence, but a quote by Margaret Atwood pretty much sums it up:
“Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.”
Male victims are more likely to be mocked.
Female victims are more likely to experience long-term systemic abuse and terror, severe injury, arrests and convictions on false charges, being ignored by the justice system, economic devastation, and death.
Stigma Vs Death
Research consistently shows stark gender differences in both perpetration patterns and outcomes. While Douglas & Hines (2011) documented that male victims face stigma and ridicule when seeking help, Stark (2018) emphasizes that women victims face lethal risks – approximately 3-4 women are murdered by intimate partners every day in the United States.
The power dynamics are critically different: Johnson (2008) distinguishes between “situational violence,” which can be bidirectional, and “coercive controlling violence,” which is overwhelmingly perpetrated by men against women, involving systematic patterns of intimidation, isolation, and terror.
Regarding system responses, Meyer (2011) found that while men faced credibility challenges when reporting victimization, women faced potentially fatal consequences from system failures. In cases where women were later killed by partners, up to 75% had previously sought help from law enforcement or courts.
The severity disparity is stark: Campbell (2019) documented that women are twice as likely to sustain serious injuries requiring medical attention, five times more likely to be hospitalized, and seven times more likely to be killed by intimate partners compared to male victims. When men experience IPV, it rarely involves the same pattern of systematic control, economic abuse, and credible threats to life that characterize most severe cases with female victims.
Analyzing arrest patterns, Durfee (2012) found the system’s gender bias manifests in ways that endanger women – when women defend themselves against abusive partners, they are disproportionately likely to be arrested. Chesney-Lind (2020) argues this “gender entrapment” means women face criminalization for survival actions.
Wrongful Arrests
Research reveals a disturbing pattern of women being wrongfully arrested in domestic violence situations, particularly when defending themselves against abusers.
Dichter (2020) found that 60% of women arrested for domestic violence were actually victims acting in self-defense. This phenomenon, termed “victim-arrest,” disproportionately impacts women – Li et al. (2015) documented that when both parties show injuries, women are three times more likely to be arrested than men, even when evidence suggests they were not the primary aggressor.
Larance & Miller-Graff (2016) found that mandatory arrest policies, ironically designed to protect victims, have led to a 50% increase in dual arrests where police arrest both parties, with women being the ones who initially called for help in 85% of these cases.
Strand (2017) revealed that women of color face even higher rates of wrongful arrest, with Black women being five times more likely than white women to be arrested in domestic violence incidents where they were the victim.
Perhaps most alarmingly, Messing et al. (2015) found that women who had previously been arrested for defending themselves were subsequently less likely to call police during future attacks, with 67% reporting they would rather risk death than face wrongful arrest again – effectively trapping them in dangerous situations with no recourse to justice.
This is Not Equality
All this doesn’t mean that male victimization is okay. It’s obviously not. However, the system already adequately addresses it. The evidence shows us that the same can not be said about IPV directed towards women.
The public perception is that the justice system works better for female victims and that male victims are taken less seriously and experience the same levels of abuse as women.
These notions are myths.
The data consistently shows that women face:
– Higher risk of death
– More severe injuries
– More systematic abuse patterns
– Greater economic and social consequences
– Gender discrimination from both police and the court system
– Higher arrest and conviction rates when they are the victim
Yet look at any comment section on a Facebook or Reddit post and you’ll think that men are suffering as much or worse than women because that’s where the focus always turns towards. This focus on men perpetuates the biases and ideas that cause the problems that women are enduring with IPV.
Gendered Bias Kills
By the end of this hour, 5 women will be dead due to intimate partner violence.
The same thing happens every hour of every day.
According to the World Health Organization and United Nations data, approximately 137 women are killed by intimate partners or family members each day globally, which translates to about 50,000 women per year.
This is a serious public health and human rights issue that affects all regions of the world. The statistics likely underestimate the true scale of the problem, as many cases go unreported or are misclassified.
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, there are confidential resources and support services available:
- National Domestic Violence Hotline (US): 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
- Emergency services: 911 (US) or your local emergency number
- Local domestic violence organizations and shelters
These services offer 24/7 crisis support, safety planning, and connections to local resources. You deserve to be safe and supported.
References:
Campbell, J. C. (2019). Assessing dangerousness in domestic violence cases: History, challenges, and opportunities. Domestic Violence Report, 24(3), 37-42.
Chesney-Lind, M. (2020). Gender entrapment revisited: Women, crime, and victimization. Feminist Criminology, 15(1), 3-18.Dichter, M. E. (2020). “They arrested me—and I was the victim”: Women’s experiences with getting arrested in the context of domestic violence. Violence Against Women, 26(12-13), 1716-1736.
Douglas, E. M., & Hines, D. A. (2011). The helpseeking experiences of men who sustain intimate partner violence: An overlooked population and implications for practice. Journal of Family Violence, 26(6), 473-485.
Durfee, A. (2012). Situational ambiguity and gendered patterns of arrest for intimate partner violence. Violence Against Women, 18(1), 64-84.
Larance, L. Y., & Miller-Graff, L. E. (2016). Victim arrest in intimate partner violence incidents: A multilevel test of black’s theory of law. Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 31(4), 823-848.
Li, S., Levick, A., Eichman, A., & Chang, J. C. (2015). Women’s perspectives on the context of violence and role of police in their intimate partner violence arrest experiences. Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 30(3), 400-419.
Johnson, M. P. (2008). A typology of domestic violence: Intimate terrorism, violent resistance, and situational couple violence. Northeastern University Press.
Meyer, S. (2011). Seeking help for intimate partner violence: Victims’ experiences when approaching the criminal justice system for IPV-related support and protection in an Australian jurisdiction. Feminist Criminology, 6(4), 268-290.
Stark, E. (2018). Coercive control as a framework for responding to male partner abuse in the criminal justice system. Violence Against Women, 24(4), 398-419.
Messing, J. T., Ward-Lasher, A., Thaller, J., & Bagwell-Gray, M. E. (2015). The state of intimate partner violence intervention: Progress and continuing challenges. Social Work, 60(4), 305-313.
Strand, S. J. (2017). The rhetoric and reality of arrests: Racial disparities in domestic violence intervention. Violence Against Women, 23(7), 785-804.